uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
