I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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