mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
