So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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