You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
