How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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