I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
