sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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