Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize