My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
