did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
