you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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