i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
