I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
