i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
