One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
