The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
