I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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