Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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