So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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