could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
