so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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