it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Life is so much better after having sex.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
