Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
