hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
