just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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