I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
