so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
