I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
