She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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