Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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