So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
