This girl is more easily done than said...
i would punch a child for taco bell
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
