Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
