Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
