I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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