you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
