moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
