Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
