I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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