she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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