Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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