Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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