Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
