We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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