He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
