insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize