well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize