I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
dude. I can hear the air.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
