There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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