Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
