Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
