does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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