That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
