I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
