Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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