the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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