East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
