Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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