I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
