Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
