grandma shit on top of the toilet
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
