Who did Billy Mays play for?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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