Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
