Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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