I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
