it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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