Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
