oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
