I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
