I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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