So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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