I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize